They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
