She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i drank out of a bidet.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
