im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
