i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
