Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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