Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
