We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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