Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
