I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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