In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
