i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
