would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize