Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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