I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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