just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
