if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
