And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
