Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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