so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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