dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
