the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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