i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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