in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
