i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
