so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
