Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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