do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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