lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So here I am, sexting at work.
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