I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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