So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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