Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
