Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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