there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
