Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
All I want is dick and wine.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
