please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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