i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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