Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
