Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
