sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i dont even know how to be here
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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