Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
