I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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