I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
