If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
