all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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