in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
