seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
