They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
