I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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