He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
