How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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