there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't turn off my feet"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
