Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
