just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
