Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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