am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
