shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
