We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
