You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize