She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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