who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
