matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
