PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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