Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
