I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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