Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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